The Dance That Taught Me About Being Myself
An Autistic Person's Guide to Ecstatic Dance
I’ve been doing ecstatic dance for a year now, and it’s changed my life. I find it so fulfilling to share with others, especially with people on the autism spectrum, who can benefit from the experience in unique ways. Read on to learn why!
What Is Ecstatic Dance?
Ecstatic dance is dancing without structures or limitations. It’s dancing like no one’s watching. How you look is less important than how you feel.
Ecstatic dance is typically done with:
No talking.
No drugs or alcohol.
No phones.
No shoes.
…all of which give it a very different vibe from a club scene. But beyond that, there's no rules! You can move your body any way you'd like...there's no right or wrong. It’s less a “style” of dance than a “space” for dance. Ecstatic dance is liberation.
Ecstatic Dance for Autistic People
Of course, ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) manifests differently for each person. I can only speak to my own experience. But in talking with other autistic people who practice ecstatic dance, I’ve found some shared appreciations.
Freedom from Convention: Basically, you can just stim on the dance floor, and nobody will judge you. People will probably think it's awesome! It worked for David Byrne (of Talking Heads fame). Ecstatic dance is the freedom to move your body in the way that feels right to you. For many autistic people, this is a freedom long denied.
Nonverbal: Processing speech is an extra heavy load on my brain, and my most common cause of autistic burnout. So I love how ecstatic dance is a way to exist in communion, without the need for words. Other social events can be incredibly draining. With ecstatic dance, though, I often find myself walking away with my social batteries recharged instead.
Teaching Connection: Even without talking, you can really connect on the dance floor. Most people dance by themselves, but you can invite others to dance with you… whether it’s one-on-one, in a big circle, or even just subtly picking up on the movements of those around you. A year of practicing ecstatic dance has helped me develop these subtle skills of connection, left underdeveloped for so much of my life.
Some Caveats
Sensory Stimulation: Ecstatic dances are intense sensory experiences, with loud music, and sometimes light shows. The music isn’t as deafening as a club or rave, though, since it doesn’t have to compete with shouted conversation.
Still, take all the breaks you need to decompress! They often have a chill zone for people to rest or meditate. Consider using ear plugs or headphones if you want to reduce the sound a little bit.
Navigating Partner Dancing: This has been extra difficult for me. To be clear, you don't have to dance with other people. It's perfectly fine to just vibe by yourself...that's what most people are doing, most of the time! If you’re more comfortable by yourself, there are clear ways to communicate that to another person…such as two palms pressed together (“Thank you, but no”), or crossed arms (a more pointed “No”). Events usually have a lesson on communication and consent before the dance begins.
Dancing with another person, or two other people, or six other people, can also be lots of fun. But if you have difficulty reading social cues, initiating it can be difficult. Eye contact is a big part of it, which is also something that terrifies me to a certain degree. But it's a mountain that can be climbed. If you're ever unsure if someone would like to dance with you, feel free to use words. Ecstatic dance is mostly wordless, but don’t hesitate to use them in cases of safety or if consent is uncertain.
Ecstatic Dance for You
In my first year of ecstatic dance, I've noticed myself becoming more confident, more expressive, more empathetic. This form of dance has taught me things about being human…things I wasn’t born knowing. And it’s taught me things about being myself…things I was born knowing, but forced to forget. I hope you get a chance to experience it yourself!
Where to do ecstatic dance? In the Boston area, I highly recommend Joel Stanley’s 5Rhythms classes! 5Rhythms is a wonderful therapeutic form, with teachers all around the world. There’s also a calendar of ecstatic dance events in Massachusetts, even if it doesn’t include every event. And lots more going on all over the globe.
I could write so much more about my journey with ecstatic dance, but I'm more interested in hearing about yours! Please share your experiences, your struggles, your suggestions. And enjoy your dance, whatever it may be.